Get to Know the Editor: Pride Edition

When I was in my second college (that’s a different story), I was several years older than the other freshmen girls I shared residence with. There was an issue with our laundry machines. I can’t remember if an operating time was implemented, or if there was a rate increase – it was just over 20 years ago now. I do remember an anonymously-written note tacked to the residence corkboard. Several times the machines were called that word. You know, the one that used to mean “happy” and had morphed to mean “stupid”.  Not only was I upset that the note was anonymous, but even in the early 2000s, that word was derogatory, and we all knew it. So, I wrote a response saying that inanimate objects couldn’t be gay. And I signed it.

I wish I could claim that to be the start of me taking on the role of an ally, but it wasn’t. At that point, it was more of me being “better than the kids”. More people seemed to agree with me, but not because I called out poor word use; it was because I signed my name.

Several years later I was dating someone who took me to meet his de facto “mother” (that’s another story). This woman – probably in her early to mid-50s called everything she didn’t like “gay”. After hearing it ad nauseum, I suddenly snapped, “you’re gay!” No, that wasn’t me being an ally either. That was me not only being annoyed at her attitude toward everything, but also harkening back to the school yard comeback. You know, rubber, glue, and all that.

Ally is a Verb

It would be years before I actively and intentionally recognized my privilege as a straight woman and used my voice to fight against ignorance and outright hate.

I am still embarrassed of the years I looked down on the same people I now love and thought of them as some of the worst sinners. I am ashamed of the advice I gave to a friend who told me he was gay, and didn’t know how to reconcile his Christian upbringing (I told him it was like being an alcoholic. Just don’t be in a relationship with a man).

You may have seen in my website footer that I have a pride flag. That is to indicate me as a safe place for authors and readers who are members of the 2SLGBTQIA+ community. It is not performative. I call out and I call in. And I shut up and learn when I’m called in. Even though sometimes my ignorance is innocent doesn’t mean that ignorance doesn’t hurt and leave scars. I haven’t always had it right. In fact, I had it very, very wrong for a long time.

Editors continually learn. Through books, articles, and videos, I learn what language is inclusive, and what language isn’t. I am then able to pass on that learning to my clients.

This June, and every other month of the year, I stand against bigotry and hate. Like one of my favourite buttons says, “Sounds gay. I’m in.”